My Well-Armed Childhood Home
Rifle shells taken from the new owner of our old house. We lived there for some 20 years.
It was loaded. (In the news now: see The Oregonian article for more information. And this KATU story has a picture and an interview with my longtime neighbor, Mr. Watson whose son taught me beginner's-level music theory when I was much younger.)
Now I'd lived at 7420 SW 101st Ave. for about 20 years and had seen a lot of things in my living room. But there were very few items we'd ever collected as a family that were designed to repel and destroy aircraft from a crouching position. Which makes it fairly difficult to reconcile the juxtaposition of this new information and my boyhood memories. What I can get easily: Slumber parties with friends, watching Alien (under close adult supervision), and carving pumpkins, sure, no problem.
The hard image to conjure? The scene where our 80s era wood-paneled walls are playing host to a deadly array of wartime weaponry. My mind reels: The Ice Storm meets Waco.
Some trivia: One of the rifles found in our old home is given a bit part to play during a post-assasination attempt briefing by CJ Cregg (played excellently by Allison Janney, think grown-up Willow from Buffy) in a seen-better-days, Sorkin-written episode of The West Wing. (Near the end ... search for ".726").
Some more trivia: The .50 caliber's civilian use is a politically charged issue. Gov Schwarzenegger banned their sale. The Brady Campaign sees them as potentially ideal for domestic terrorist warfare. And a site with a great and terrifying name (Voting from the Rooftops) asserts that these rifles are more destructive than mortars and rockets.
"One-time tried to come in my home/Take my chrome/I said, 'Yo, it's on!'", goes the refrain, however. Thankfully, the owner of the arsenal has been arrested. The police raided our old home, and our family can now laugh nervously about it, so long as none of us considers for too long the wide, open view of McKay Elementary School from our old deck. (Memoria! Dad, Mom, and our aunts and uncles poured blood, sweat, and beer in that deck! And all that in an era before cordless drills!) But luckily for everyone, Mr. McVeigh-In-Training made any number of questionable choices that silenced his muzzle, particularly since while growing up I'd always considered our split-level suburban home indefensible against a co-ordinated effort by local law enforcement and the ATF!
That's why I now live in an Edwardian.
While the Uzis and AK-47s in the old homestead are a daunting image ("the towel rack my Dad put up is not designed for that caliber of round, sir") the marijuana in the basement is a lot easier to imagine...
... or would be, except that I'm not sure that our garage was actually zoned for 110 plants!
If I've said it once, I've said it at least that many times:
Word.
"The Local Public Zoning Commission will set yr rank/Make a comb to a shank/Stick you in a cell with some pig called Hank/If you lay down low/In our home so old/Dont try/Dont die/Just say goodbye."
11 Comments:
At 7:46 PM, Anonymous said…
I love the "I power blogger" button. XD
At 12:11 AM, Famous Festy said…
The blog isinteresting. Love CHAA. Any of your other projects interested in playing Fresno anytime, ever...
At 11:12 AM, Anonymous said…
Once upon a time, a man shot a shotgun over my head. I screamed. But then again, who wouldn't? This rhythm is totally off.
Podo Brandybuck of Buckland
At 11:13 AM, Anonymous said…
Rythym is so important. Spelling is better. Who wants to see Shakespeare meets Scarface?
Olo Sandybanks of Frogmorton
At 8:14 AM, Anonymous said…
who is talking here?!?!?!?!?
rosie
At 9:09 AM, Anonymous said…
hey daisy, what is your dog's name?????
rosie
At 9:30 AM, Anonymous said…
someone answer me!!!!
I am all alone, there's no one here beside me
my troubles have all gone, there's no one to derive me
but you gotta have friends
there for I need someone to talk to me
ro-po
over and out
At 9:32 AM, Anonymous said…
hey this is marigold, not!!!
this is ro-po
listen to this:
Yesterday, in the living room of my childhood home, a tripod was pointed at my neighbors' house. On it lay a belt-fed, semiautomatic .50 caliber anti-aircraft gun.
It was loaded. (In the news now: see The Oregonian article for more information. And this KATU story has a picture and an interview with my longtime neighbor, Mr. Watson whose son taught me beginner's-level music theory when I was much younger.)
Now I'd lived at 7420 SW 101st Ave. for about 20 years and had seen a lot of things in my living room. But there were very few items we'd ever collected as a family that were designed to repel and destroy aircraft from a crouching position. Which makes it fairly difficult to reconcile the juxtaposition of this new information and my boyhood memories. What I can get easily: Slumber parties with friends, watching Alien (under close adult supervision), and carving pumpkins, sure, no problem.
The hard image to conjure? The scene where our 80s era wood-paneled walls are playing host to a deadly array of wartime weaponry. My mind reels: The Ice Storm meets Waco.
Some trivia: One of the rifles found in our old home is given a bit part to play during a post-assasination attempt briefing by CJ Cregg (played excellently by Allison Janney, think grown-up Willow from Buffy) in a seen-better-days, Sorkin-written episode of The West Wing. (Near the end ... search for ".726").
Some more trivia: The .50 caliber's civilian use is a politically charged issue. Gov Schwarzenegger banned their sale. The Brady Campaign sees them as potentially ideal for domestic terrorist warfare. And a site with a great and terrifying name (Voting from the Rooftops) asserts that these rifles are more destructive than mortars and rockets.
"One-time tried to come in my home/Take my chrome/I said, 'Yo, it's on!'", goes the refrain, however. Thankfully, the owner of the arsenal has been arrested. The police raided our old home, and our family can now laugh nervously about it, so long as none of us considers for too long the wide, open view of McKay Elementary School from our old deck. (Memoria! Dad, Mom, and our aunts and uncles poured blood, sweat, and beer in that deck! And all that in an era before cordless drills!) But luckily for everyone, Mr. McVeigh-In-Training made any number of questionable choices that silenced his muzzle, particularly since while growing up I'd always considered our split-level suburban home indefensible against a co-ordinated effort by local law enforcement and the ATF!
That's why I now live in an Edwardian.
While the Uzis and AK-47s in the old homestead are a daunting image ("the towel rack my Dad put up is not designed for that caliber of round, sir") the marijuana in the basement is a lot easier to imagine...
... or would be, except that I'm not sure that our garage was actually zoned for 110 plants!
If I've said it once, I've said it at least that many times:
"The Local Public Zoning Commission will set yr rank/Make a comb to a shank/Stick you in a cell with some pig called Hank/If you lay down low/In our home so old/Dont try/Dont die/Just say goodbye."
Word.
I hate everyone who will not talk to me, cuz I am extremely bored, here!!!
ro-po
over and out
At 4:59 PM, Anonymous said…
My dog's name is Howard! Who on earth are Podo and Olo, And why does Olo share a last name with me?!?!?!?!?
-Daisy Sandybanks of Frogmorton.
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous said…
TELL ME WHO YOU ARE, PODO!!
I'll check again tomorrow.
-D.
By the way, who is Olo, too?
At 7:49 AM, Anonymous said…
Hel-lo. Is anyone there???
-D.
Post a Comment