Cardiac Arrythmia: The downsides!
You're saying to yourself, "I know the upsides of non-normal cardiac muscle contractions - the jungle rhythms, the backbeat, the non-stop, invasive, four-on-the-floor dance remix of the heart! But are there any downsides?"Hard to imagine since I'll bet cardiac arrythmia is normally a bright post-rave Sunday-after sunrise! But there's apparently some minor detriments. Notable among these is the understated "shortness of breath." Now, don't let the boring-as-taxes name disappoint you - that's just gangsta slang for an immobilizing restriction around your chest. In acute cases, you may actually feel as if you're drowning while standing! (Actually, you're most likely sitting or lying down at that point.)
Can you feel the suspense? Can you? (Wait...can you?) Ok, if you're currently "feelin' it" then taking aspirin couldn't hurt. If you're pretty sure you're having ventricular tachycardia and it seems really bad I suppose you could whip out your handy bottle of lidocaine and quaff a tab or two. Or, if you're all MacGyver you could whip out the piano wire you have handy and treat your atrial fibrillation percutaneously.
Now, don't take this post as actual medical information. In fact the last paragraph is recommended ONLY if you're a licensed physician AND totally bat-shit insane.
Postscript: After typing this post I now believe the most under-appreciated product in medical software is the spellchecker.
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